Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

If I use a vibrator for most of my sexual experiences alone and with a lover will I become dependent on it and be unable to climax without it?

Answer

Your concern is often expressed to sexual experts; many people worry about this. No, you will not become physiologically dependent on a vibrator but you might become somewhat psychologically dependent on it. No other form of neurological stimulation can match the intensity, consistency, and durability of a vibrator, but what is absent is the closeness, the affection, and even the variability of a lover. Consider the vibrator as a different form of stimulation along with the feelings you get from your lover's penis, mouth, or hand (or whatever other body parts you enjoy!).

03/18/98

Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre (408-248-9737), runs the training program for Counseling and Psychological Services at Stanford University. Dr. Cooper is internationally known for his work in sexuality and is freqently interviewed by the media. He currently writes a column in Men's Health Magazine.

Dr. Coralie Scherer coordinates online services for the Centre and specializes in sexual trauma, women's issues, and marital therapy.