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Question

In my dream I had sex with my 86 year old grandmother who had been dead for about 8 years. Does this have any significant meaning?

Answer

I sometimes think of dreams as a photographic snapshot of our internal psychological/emotional state. It sounds like the meaning of sex in your dream might be related to your emotional connection with your grandmother. Emotional bonds are timeless and we sometimes do closure in our dreams with loved ones long after their physical death. You do not state whether you are male or female and how you felt about your grandmother when she was alive or how you felt after her death.

If you accept the interpretation of sexual intercourse as a connection or bond, you might view the dream as a picture of your ongoing emotional healing from your loss. That is, you are connected to your grandmother in spirit even though she has been dead many years. You might have been connecting with her in the realm of the psyche and spirit in your dream.

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Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Centre (408-248-9737), runs the training program for Counseling and Psychological Services at Stanford University. Dr. Cooper is internationally known for his work in sexuality and is freqently interviewed by the media. He currently writes a column in Men's Health Magazine.

Dr. Coralie Scherer coordinates online services for the Centre and specializes in sexual trauma, women's issues, and marital therapy.