Evaluate From a Long Term Perspective
The other person may be tired or preoccupied right now (it’s not all about you, after all) and not up for a whole lot of straight talk. Your communication problems may improve on their own over time, or may just not be important enough in the long run for you to demand that today’s problem be fixed right now.
If it’s not earth-shakingly important, and if the other wants to pass on fixing things right now, consider doing so. You can always call in the IOU later on
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Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT) asserts that you feel the way you think. If you want to feel better, you have to change the way you think. For example, you may think to yourself “I cannot tolerate this pain.” This thought may make you feel depressed and anxious as well.
Using CBT would help you change the way you think about the pain to something like “I am in pain today but it doesn’t mean that I will always be in pain. I have strategies to minimize the pain. What can I do right now to help myself?”
CBT in now a part of many treatment programs for patients who experience chronic illness and it is also utilized in the treatment of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS).
Your list of actions might include:
- getting a massage
- taking pain medicine
- distracting yourself by watching a good movie or
- taking a warm bath.
Your list of comforting thoughts might include:
- there are good things in my life
- I have a significant other who cares about me
- I have resources with which I can help myself.
Don’t forget, this list of helpful actions and thoughts is created by you
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