Exercise 5 - 10

Situation - reaching for a snack: You are reaching for a snack. You want to say "no" to the snack, and you can't.

Exercise: Pause. Pay attention to your breathing.

1. Think. Where else do you say "yes" because you can't say "no"? Do you smile or silently accept behavior or requests from people despite your discomfort?

2. Write down an incident that occurs to you where you wish you could have said "no" or "stop."

3. Write down the snack situation.

4. Answer these questions regarding the snack:

What do you think would happen if you said "no"?

What would you feel?

What benefits might you get if you said "no"?

What benefits might you get for saying "yes"?

What hardships might you get for saying "yes"?

5. Answer these questions regarding the incident. What do you think would happen if you said "no"? What would you feel? What benefits might you get if you said "no"? What benefits might you get for saying "yes"? What hardships might you get for saying "yes"?

Compare your answers. Do they have anything in common?

You may be saying "yes" to the snack and "yes" to a person or organization to protect yourself from some kind of discomfort. Your unwilling "yes" may be a way of sacrificing joyful opportunities.

Keep what you've written about these situations, questions and answers. Include them in your journal. Compare them to other situations where you say "yes" with words or with body acceptance but would prefer to say "no."

6. Situation - postponing: You are postponing beginning an activity. What are you postponing? Is it true that you can postpone everything except eating?

Exercise: Reverse the order. Before you reach for food, pick one activity you have been postponing and take concrete action. It may be a note or a phone call. It may be gathering materials you need. A small action mobilizes your personal power.

7. Situation - loneliness: Alone at night you want to eat. You want the comfort of food and perhaps television.

Exercise: Pause. Think of the people you have known throughout your life. There is one, perhaps more, who made a positive impact on you. Perhaps you like, love, or admire them. Perhaps you didn't know these people well, yet are grateful they touched your life.

Think of a thought they would appreciate. Share it with them. For example, send them an expression of appreciation or a picture, article or cartoon that might delight them.

Rather than sink into the oblivion of food and television, you can connect yourself with people in a meaningful way.

8. Situation - lying: Have you told a lie lately? Lying is related to overeating. Don't you lie to yourself about how much you eat and why?

Exercise: Think about lies you told or are still telling. Write down to whom you lied and why. Include yourself.

What made that lie necessary? How can you begin to correct that lie or prevent that lie from being necessary in the future? By facing the secrets you know you are keeping you become closer to facing deep, personal secrets you don't know about. These are the secrets that hold tremendous power over your overeating habits.

9. Situation - broken promises: Have you broken a promise to anyone lately? Include yourself. You break a promise to yourself every time you overeat.

Exercise: Make a list of your broken promises. Make good on the promises you can still honor. You may discover that some promises are impossible to keep and should not have been made. Acknowledge this. Knowing and accepting what you can and cannot accomplish increases your ability to establish reasonable limits for yourself. You become trustworthy to yourself and others.

10. Situation - good bye: You have said good bye to your friends and are home alone. You feel nervous. You are ready to eat whatever you can find for comfort.
Exercise: Pause. Consider moments that delight you. Give yourself a simple delight now while you are feeling the overeating urge. Perhaps it's listening to music or taking a warm bath. Read a poem out loud to your cat or dog. Sing in the shower or do some physical exercise to let out some energy.

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Return to Triumphant Journey Index

5/28/98

Joanna Poppink, M.F.C.C., licensed by the State of California in 1980, is a Marriage, Family, Child Counselor (License #15563). She has a private practice in Los Angeles where she works with adult individuals and couples. She specializes in working with people with eating disorders and with people who are trying to understand and help a loved on who has an eating disorder. Contact Information: 10573 West Pico Blvd. Suite 20 Los Angeles, CA 90064 (310) 474-4165 phone (310) 474-7248 fax